oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
