i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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