The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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