Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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