i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
