Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
