k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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