I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
