Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
how can u be prego again
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
