I don't remember. Are we still dating?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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