Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
