You're completely useless in the revolution.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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