Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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