he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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