She said her name was "party"
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
