Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
