i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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