i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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