Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
