someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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