I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
