i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
