Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
