hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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