So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
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