note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
