i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
