Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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