That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
