nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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