this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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