just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
