i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize