I skipped work to stalk him.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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