Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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