forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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