you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
