my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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