you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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