I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
