You're so nebulous sometimes
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
