I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
