I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
