Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Randomize
