i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
