It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
