She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
