She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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