My friends, they love my intelligence
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.