I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.