Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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