so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
