I hate your face
porn star boner night. come get it.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
