Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
