I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
