Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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