...so i touched it.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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