she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
