She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
