I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize