So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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